Tuesdays with Tom: The Greatest Halloween Songs of All-Time
Revealing the list of the spookiest songs ever written; plus thoughts on Shrinking, the bland Bulls, an epic Hail Mary and World Series walk-offs
We’re coming up on another Halloween celebration. As my readers know, I’m a big fan of the holiday. I’m sure many of you either celebrated over the weekend or you’re prepping to hand out candy to toddlers in a few days. If you aren’t doing the latter, perhaps you’ll be gathering with some adults and listening to some Halloween jams. This is a somewhat slept-on category of music. This subgenre doesn’t have the depth or the impressive staying power of Christmas music, but there’s a lot of options for the season. Once again, I’ve taken it upon myself to give you the greatest hits in this realm. You should know what to expect from me here. So, let’s get spooky.
Honorable Mention: “Spirit Halloween Theme Song” - Nick Lutsko
Comedian Nick Lutsko made a name for himself in 2020 with an absurdist musical ode to Spirit Halloween. It's the theme song that no one from the limited-time only costume outlet asked for, but somehow desperately needed. Lutsko channels the manic energy from Adult Swim-era shows and Tim Robinson sketches to create this delightful tune. Lutsko sings about Spirit Halloween’s quirky charms and Amazon’s near eradication of department store shopping. His grandmother gets several mentions, too. Look, I won’t pretend this type of humor is for everyone. But it’s my list and Spirit Halloween gave Lutsko their official endorsement. It inspired two follow-up songs, “Unleash Your Spirit” and “Spirit Halloween Planet” to complete this ridiculous trilogy. And if you can handle all that, you’re ready for Lutsko's masterpiece album Songs on the Computer.
#10) “Dracula’s Wedding” - Outkast ft. Kelis
We’ll forgive ourselves for missing “Dracula’s Wedding” the first time around. The song was buried at the end of Outkast’s sensational double album, Speakerboxxx/The Love Below: a 40-song kaleidoscopic journey from Outkast’s duopoly, Big Boi and André 3000. But do yourself a favor and get to know “Dracula’s Wedding” before it's too late. André 3000’s goofy yet foreboding take on the Dracula story is a perfect blend of Halloween’s contradictory tones. It’s also a fabulous time capsule for 2003. You might recall that Kelis famously declared that her dessert beverages brought the fellas together and that her recipe wasn’t free. Unpack that one for a second. This delicious mix of André 3000 and Kelis might be 21 years old, but it’s getting a well deserved second chance in 2024.
#9) “Welcome to My Nightmare” - Alice Cooper
Alice Cooper spent his entire career in costume, which makes him a perfect candidate for entry into the Halloween song Hall of Fame. In 1975, he released a full length album called Welcome to My Nightmare. It eventually became a concert film and included this title track. I highly recommend watching some of the live performances to get the full Alice Cooper experience. Cooper’s shows were a living haunted house and “Welcome to My Nightmare” kicked off his incredibly long career in music. It’s a great classic rock track on its own, but really fits best within the context of Halloween.
#8) “Disturbia” - Rihanna
I’ve had a soft spot for my high school era of pop songs lately. Every time I hear “Disturbia”, I think about awkward dances in the Lawless Gymnasium and basement parties in west suburban Chicagoland homes. For the rest of you, “Disturbia” is an electro pop earworm that helped kick-off Rihanna’s stunning career 16 years ago. The song is about paranoia, anxiety and unseen dark forces. In an eerie twist, her abusive ex-boyfriend Chris Brown originally wrote the track and gave it to Rihanna. This gives “Disturbia” an additional tenor of darkness that somehow blends well with the catchy pop glazing. An unexpected addition to a Halloween playlist? Maybe. But it works.
#7) “Somebody’s Watching Me” - Rockwell
For many years, I thought this was a Michael Jackson song. Between the high-pitched falsetto and the spooky synthesizers, it sure sounds like one. Well, guess what? It pretty much is a Michael Jackson song. When aspiring musician Kennedy William Gordy played “Somebody’s Watching Me” for his father, Berry Gordy, the founder of Motown Records, he was unimpressed. Later, Gordy played the song for his childhood friend, Michael Jackson. He loved it so much he asked to record the chorus for him. Gordy secretly submitted the revised track to Motown Records under the name Rockwell. To keep up the ruse, Jackson took no credits on the song. So it is indeed Michael Jackson singing in “Somebody’s Watching Me”. I suppose it’s fitting that a song about unknown watchers was created with such subterfuge. It’s a spooky good time.
#6) “I Put a Spell on You” - Screamin’ Jay Hawkins
This 1956 track is the epitome of the spirit of Halloween. Originally written as a sentimental blues ballad, Hawkins and his band were so drunk during the recording session that they ended up making this bizarre, unhinged version instead. In fact, Hawkins didn’t remember the screaming, growling version that became “I Put a Spell on You” and had to re-learn it for live shows. It was the track that unintentionally birthed his persona as Screamin’ Jay Hawkins. He leaned into the bit and became the godfather of Shock Rock, with elaborate costumes and antics to supplement his kooky, screaming performances on stage. “I Put a Spell On You” has been covered numerous times by artists like Annie Lennox, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Carlos Santana and Jeff Beck. But the original is the spookiest by far and the one I find the most hilariously endearing all these years later.
#5) “Ghostbusters” - Ray Parker Jr.
This song also made my list for the best made-for-film songs ever. I won’t re-tell the tale, but how could I omit this when discussing Halloween bangers? Ghostbusters is arguably the most iconic Halloween comedy in American history and this song was a huge part of the movie. Was it stolen from Huey Lewis? Probably! But most people don’t remember or care about that. I ain’t afraid of no ghost.
#4) “Hells Bells” - AC/DC
I was way too young when my father introduced me to “Hells Bells” by AC/DC. But I’ll never forget the shiver that ran down my spine when I heard the haunting church bell that preceded the song’s iconic opening guitar riffs. “Hells Bells” is one of the biggest AC/DC songs ever and the first track on their biggest album, Back in Black. It’s a helluva introduction to this band. This cheeky Satanic themed banger came out right after AC/DC’s original singer, Bon Scott, died of alcohol poisoning. It’s pretty ballsy for a band to invoke Satan and a trip to the wrong kind of afterlife right after your singer has died. Some have interpreted the song as replacement singer Brian Johnson’s imaginary conversation with Scott in taking over the band. No matter how you see it, “Hells Bells” is a blast and worthy of being an all-time Halloween-esque tune.
#3) “Werewolves of London” - Warren Zevon
Imagining a crazed werewolf sitting down in a Chinese restaurant, drinking piña coladas and having a night on the town in London is objectively hilarious. Is it an analogy for a certain type of 1970s man? Perhaps. I prefer the literal interpretation. “Werewolves of London” is a master class in Warren Zevon’s songwriting zaniness. It’s possible that no one in the history of music has couched more insanely dark humor in between light and carefree sounding music. Zevon and the band that concocted this hit didn’t take it seriously, but the rest of the world very much did. It peaked at No. 21 in the U.S. Billboard Hot 100 in 1978. Zevon might not have craved the spotlight, but the man deserved it. This song is a stone cold classic. And as if I didn’t like him enough, he once covered “Raspberry Beret” with his side project, Hindu Love Gods. It’s a shame he’s not around to entertain us anymore.
#2) “Monster Mash” - Bobby “Boris” Pickett
It should be clear to you that most of these Halloween songs are bizarre, goofy and often blur the thin lines between disturbed thoughts and catchy silliness. I can’t think of a better way to describe “Monster Mash”, one of the most unusual songs to hit No. 1 in the U.S. Billboard Hot 100. The song was performed by aspiring actor Bobby Pickett, who was encouraged to make this based on his amazing impression of actor Boris Karloff as Frankenstein’s monster. Pickett added some Bela Lugosi to the mix while making “Monster Mash” for his comedy music album The Original Monster Mash. It’s appropriate that a song about a monster coming to life to make an unexpected “hit of the land” is pretty much what happened to Bobby Pickett. It’s also very wholesome compared to some of its spiritual counterparts.
#1) “Thriller” - Michael Jackson
The most challenging debate in “judge the art, not the artist” discourse is undoubtedly Michael Jackson. Unfortunately, you can’t get around it here because there’s no question that “Thriller” is the most significant Halloween song ever made. Everything about it is a perfect fit for the holiday and it happens to be an incredible pop song, too. But what really raises “Thriller” over the top is the music video. It’s more of a short film that tackles every major horror film trope, set to the amazing beat and performance of peak Michael Jackson. Vincent Price’s terrifying mid-track narration adds some gravitas to the stunning video and story. There had simply never been anything in music like “Thriller” before.
Tom’s Thoughts of the Week
In the last two episodes of Friday Night Beers, Vince and I drank Cape May IPA and Welcome Great Pumpkin. Our first New Jersey beer sparked unexpected conversations about the differences between East and West coast rap, plus a little bit of Swiftie talk and other rabid fandoms. We’ve reviewed a pumpkin-flavored beer every season, but this is the first deep dive we’ve done on the 1966 TV special It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. Vince and I were a bit confused about why The Peanuts are so beloved and talked about some other classic comic strips from the past. Please subscribe, rate and review our podcast here and follow our Instagram page for relevant updates!
I promise that I’m not a paid sponsor of Apple TV+ and their original programming. I’ve just been a fan of their stuff lately and Shrinking is another example of what they can do when they’re clicking. I’ve mentioned a few times that showrunner Bill Lawrence created Scrubs, Ted Lasso and even Bad Monkey for Apple. He helms this show as well and Shrinking is a great showcase for his ability to make heartfelt comedies with challenging themes. Jason Segel’s lead performance is the standout. This is the most committed I’ve seen him since his Forgetting Sarah Marshall days and he’s a perfect fit for the grieving therapist that he plays in the show. Jessica Williams is fabulous as Segel’s co-worker at their therapy firm. There are winning performances from Harrison Ford, Christa Miller and scene-stealing Ted McGinley. The show can be a little heavy handed at times about the healing power of therapy. But overall, it’s a lot of fun, occasionally makes you think and delivers characters that are easy to root for. That’s the Bill Lawrence template in a nutshell.
If you believe the rumors that Jerry Reinsdorf might finally be open to selling the Chicago White Sox, I’ll kindly remind you that he is still the majority owner of the Chicago Bulls as well. The Bulls won’t be the worst team in NBA history this year, but like their Reinsdorf-owned counterparts, they’re staring at an unpleasant reality and future today. This team has confusing goals. They should be motivated to finish with a bottom 10 record because they’ll likely lose their first round pick if they don’t. But they somehow need Zach LaVine to play well enough to warrant a trade from a contender, while also losing frequently. It’s a weird situation made weirder by their marginal dip in talent across the roster. As usual, they’re a bit too late in embracing a fast-paced, modern NBA offense and they don’t really have the guys to pull it off anyway. I feel for someone like Coby White, who is finally thriving on a team going nowhere. The only thing that would get me psyched for this team is landing the No. 1 pick in the 2025 NBA Lottery.
Ranking the most insane Hail Mary tosses in football history sounds like something that Tuesdays with Tom should tackle in the future. I don’t know where this Bears-Commanders one would rank on that list, but it’s going to warrant strong consideration. This is one of those plays you’re going to see on highlight shows for the rest of your life. Hail Mary throws encapsulate the raw duality of being a sports fan. For the successful team, it’s one of the most exhilarating moments you can experience. On the losing end, it couldn’t be more deflating. I’m not sure if I’ve seen worse coverage on a Hail Mary play. There was also a clear holding call that the referees missed, but neither is the most egregious component of this play. That falls upon Bears cornerback Tyrique Stevenson, who inexplicably taunted the Commanders crowd when he should have been covering Commanders receiver Noah Brown. Stevenson ended up tipping the ball right into Brown’s hands for the game winning touchdown. It’s an unforgettable sports moment. Commanders quarterback Jayden Daniels added quite a chapter to his emerging legacy here. Unfortunately for Bears fans, this kind of hilarious ineptitude is a staple of the franchise over many decades now. I’ll always remember where I was when I watched this.
On the topic of thrilling sports moments, Freddie Freeman’s walk-off grand slam in Game 1 of this current World Series will go down as a signature moment in MLB postseason history. I can relate to the thrill of a big playoff home run, as I witnessed one live in 2021 with Leury García for the White Sox. I was vicariously part of the 2011 St. Louis Cardinals when David Freese saved the day against the Texas Rangers. Right now, I can only imagine the feeling as a fan seeing a World Series walk-off in the flesh like Freeman’s home run for my team. As a casual baseball fan, I think the MLB has delivered a great postseason this year. Getting the Yankees and Dodgers is great for the MLB, but these are not easy teams to cheer for. I haven’t rooted for the Yankees since 1776. I’ve still got a bad taste in my mouth about the Shohei Ohtani contract. They’re both frontrunners in the biggest American sports markets, with a lot of bandwagon fans across the country. However, I’ll take the entertainment value either provides if it's going to be like this the rest of the way. These are the kinds of plays that sports fans dream of seeing and it's why those of us who can’t get enough keep coming back for more.