Tuesdays with Tom: Summertime Holidays
Summer time is a time of celebration. Whether you’re still someone where the phrase “school’s out” means something to you or you just like being outside more often, it doesn’t take much to get a group together and celebrate anything and everything. We have some great causes to rally behind each summer. How trivial are we talking? Let’s take Flag Day for example. One time in high school we had an assembly and the speaker asked to crowd to name our favorite holidays and one kid screamed “FLAG DAY!!” drawing a huge laugh. This is one holiday no one would really miss, but it’s this coming Thursday and hey, if you need an excuse to get together, why not! I have rounded up some upcoming holidays this month that you can use as a theme for your next summer party. You can thank me later.
National Weed Your Garden Day - June 13th
You better hurry up if you’re throwing a party for this incredible holiday. It’s tomorrow. Straight from the website “the purpose of this special day is to spend an extra 5-10 minutes weeding your garden”. Someone tap the keg! This doesn’t really address how long you might usually garden. What if you garden for 4 hours a day? Does an extra 5-10 minutes make a difference? If you don’t have your own garden, are you supposed to volunteer to weed other people’s gardens? There’s also a very easy angle with marijuana to incorporate into your June 13th soiree. The possibilities are endless!
Smile Power Day - June 15th
After resting your fingers from plucking weeds, you can warm up those cheeks to get ready for Smile Power Day. Pretty easy to get behind a party where all you have to do is bring some smiles. Of course, you don’t want to take it too far. But a health dose of smiling is good for you and it’s contagious. Smiles all around and no sight of a frown!
International Panic Day - June 18th
This is the day after Father’s Day and a Monday, so panicking might be the appropriate response. Just kidding! March also has a Panic Day. That’s two Panic Days too many for my book. If you’re celebrating the act of panic, please seek help.
National Splurge Day - June 18th
A quick pivot from Panic Day takes us to a much more interesting holiday. National Splurge Day is exactly what you think it is. A “treat yo self” day if you don’t already do that often, here’s another excuse to do whatever the hell you want. You just celebrated your father the day before doing what he wanted. Now you’re going to immediately revert back to your selfish desires. What a great reason for a Monday night party!
World Sauntering Day - June 19th
Without looking it up, what does the word saunter mean? Okay you can look it up now. “To walk in a slow, relaxed manner, without hurry or effort.” When was the last time you sauntered? If it’s been a while, break out those sauntering shoes and take advantage of this holiday invented by W. T. Rabe at Mackinac Island, Michigan. A bunch of people slowly walking around like jackasses in celebration of a supposedly global event? Sign me up for a saunter sleepover right now!
National Selfie Day - June 21st
Breaking news: every day is National Selfie Day now. No need for an extra celebration in my book.
Swim a Lap Day - June 24th
I used to take laps every day at football practice and it wasn’t fun. Swimming laps with my friends on the other hand, sounds unbelievably fun. Summer is great time to be at the pool anyways and we could all use a little more exercise. Come on get in the water!
Insurance Awareness Day - June 24th
You know something, I thought highlighter parties in college were a ball. If I had known there was an Insurance Awareness Day, I might never have graduated! Just imagine the endless conversations you could have at this event
“You look like a Geico man!”
“(Spits out water) Are you nuts? I’m as P-R-O-Gressive it gets!”
“Old McDonald had State Farm, with some good FICO!”
“Northwestern Mutual! Northwestern Mutual! Northwestern Mutual!”
I don’t want to go to any other parties.
I Forgot Day - July 2nd
Perhaps the most blissful unknown holiday on the American calendar. There’s no way you can’t enjoy this one. If you remember, you can fondly recall all of those times you forgot something or made a huge mistake. If you forget about it, well isn’t that the entire point?! “I forgot to plan the I Forgot Day party.” “Wow you must have really wanted to celebrate!” Mark this one down...or not?
There’s a whole lot more of these bizarre, nonsense holidays. We all deserve to have a good time now and then. If you want to spice up your life, take a look and see if you can celebrate something that so silly and ridiculous, you’ll forget that it was a joke to begin with.
Tom’s Thoughts of the Week
The fourth Jaws movie is called “Jaws IV: The Revenge”. It came with a tagline “this time it’s personal”. It’s considered one of the worst, nonsensical films ever made. In that sense, Cavs-Warriors IV was a fitting fourth edition to that franchise. Golden State’s dominance of Cleveland didn’t surprise anyone en route to their 3rd championship in four years. They are one LeBron block away from winning four straight titles. Considering LeBron’s very likely departure from Cleveland, we don’t have to worry about a part five.
Congratulations to the Washington Capitals for winning their first Stanley Cup in their 44-year existence. Fun fact about the first ever Capitals team. They went 8-67-5 in the 1974-75 season. That team once lost a game 13-0 including four own goals by their own defensemen. Later in the season, after breaking a 37-game road losing streak forward Tommy Williams pulled a trash can out of the dressing room, had some teammates sign it, and a few Capitals skated it around the rink in celebration, calling it “The Stanley Can.” Rough way to start a franchise. They don’t have to do that anymore (ironically beating an expansion team to do it in Vegas). Good for those fans.
Closing out a historic sports week, Justify became the 13th ever Triple Crown winner in his decisive victory at the Belmont Stakes. Thanks to his victory, he’s now estimated to be worth around $75 million in future earnings for his owner. I’d say that justifies the price (pretty funny right?)!
Controversial decision that makes no difference in anyone’s lives. I am going to start HBO’s The Leftovers. From what I’ve heard, the first season is rough and then it flips the switch and becomes incredible. I’m intrigued by the pilot. We’ll see how this goes.
Strange branding note of the week. IHOP, short for International House of Pancakes, made a controversial choice to re-name their company IHOB with “B” standing for burgers. I don’t know about you, but I wasn’t even aware that IHOP had burgers. They certainly aren’t famous for it. Maybe this is a PR stunt but either way, I would be surprised if this sticks.
If you’re still a fan of Kanye West as a musician, I have some disappointing news for you. His new album ye might as well have been titled “Eh?” because it’s not very good. There are two songs I enjoyed. Same could be said for his collaboration with Kid Cudi KIDS SEE GHOSTS. They’re both seven songs which barely qualifies as a full album but regardless, this is far from his best work.